Phoneless - No More

I promised some people that I'd put a "celebratory" post up once my phone came home. Well, this will have to do (see below). I'm busy putting all the pieces back together on my mostly new phone. New MAC address, new memory and processor chips. It was a good feeling to see the imperfections in my own screen protector. Also, Sammy gave me back all the accessories I "accidentally" sent them (case, battery cover). So, Samsung, thank you for sending me my little guy home just as I remember him. Minus the broken bits, of course.

Without further adieu, the scene I have been thinking about since I got the first UPS tracking number:

Phoneless - Day 7

Today at about 5:30pm marked the one week anniversary of my phone's death. A moment of silence, please.

Thank you.

I spent the entire night mourning my loss. I remember the feeling I had as I googled "vibrant won't power on" and discovered that I had probably hard bricked my phone's bootloader. I had a hard time sleeping that night, but thanks to Samsung's 24/7 support I had a ticket number and shipping label all ready for the morning. That was the only feeling of hope I felt concerning my phone for a full 7 days which lasted until tonight.

One week later, in the very hour I thought I had experienced the last of my phone's exceptional user experience (despite being a year and a half old) I received the following update on my support ticket:

• 12/8/2011 7:01 PM-JK: The unit has left the technician. SOLUTION: Replaced PBA
• 12/9/2011 4:22 PM:
  SOFTWARE DOWNLOAD
  PASSED RADIATION TEST
  PASSED FINAL TEST
• 12/9/2011 5:06 PM-Graciela: No hold amount
• 12/9/2011 5:06 PM-Graciela: The unit is shipped. UPS tracking number attached.

BOOM! And Sammy delivers! The only thing left to do is wait until UPS does.

Yes, my friends, It has been a week of cringing and crying, worrying and waiting. The wait isn't completely over yet, and I have a feeling the "2nd day air" UPS shipping will make me wait until next week, but there is certainly reason to celebrate. Join me, won't you?

UPDATE:
Just after I posted this story, I took this video. Luckily I had my point-and-shoot beside me.

Phoneless - Day 6

Erin, my wife, told me that I should include more of the positive things going on during this whole experience. She's right, as wives often are. Following are feelings that I have had and may not reflect actual events as perceived by others. That doesn't  make them any less valid.

I feel quicker to respond when called. I'm not talking about the input lag on all Android phones when a call comes in. If someone in another room calls for me, I don't check to see if I have my phone first then go searching for it if I can't find it. This is actually kind of funny because just now I had to go find the phone I'm borrowing because I haven't been paying attention to whether it's in my pocket or not. The ability to be contacted anywhere, anytime, by anyone had become such a given that if I put myself in an unreachable state I felt like I might be letting someone down. So far, even without my smartphone to show me my friends' Latitude locations, no one has died waiting for me to pick up the phone I left at the dinner table.

On a similar note, I used to feel like I had to have all information available to me at all times. I needed my IMDB app, a Google search bar, or Wikipedia at my side in every moment. What if someone wanted to know the definition of a word or the population of Brazil? Experiencing such moments these past few days shows me just how important a dictionary or encyclopedia is (or rather isn't) in the course of regular conversation. Previously, many times a discussion has turned into an argument due to a disagreement that was solved by instant pocket research. Now that I cannot "prove" my point with a search engine's results, I am more agreeable and understanding of others opinions. It's almost as if I misunderstood that I was having a conversation and was not in a factual debate.

And so I could go on, but this isn't intended to be a diary. And I'm surprised you, reader, have even made it this far. So for those of you who have endured I'll let you know that, although the previous posts are actually based on fact and occurrences, they are dramatized for entertainment. Shocker, I know. I hope you have been enjoying the show so far. It's not over yet!

Phoneless - Day 5

The good news is Samsung has received my phone and I am now in possession of a Repair Self Tracking number. I also have an estimated repair date! The bad news is that date is Saturday, which means I won't get my phone back until sometime next week. The novelty of missing my phone has worn off, and I am less impressed with the nuances of life without a constant connection to everything. To be blunt: it's starting to stink.

I think I have covered the smelly portions, so I'll give this experience one positive review. Although I am disconnected from the wireless world, I feel more connected with my immediate surroundings. I might not have any idea what @NathanFillion is up to all the time, but I sure noticed that guy brushing his teeth in the bathroom at work. Mind you I immediately returned to my workstation and posted my observance on Facebook. Waiting for my PC to start up in the morning typically grants me time enough to watch a couple YouTube videos on my phone. Without this convenience I have been catching up on "Cyber War: The Next Threat to National Security and What to Do About It" by Richard A. Clarke. While filling up with gas tonight instead of flicking through new items in TweetDeck I watched yet another feeble minded driver fail to yield to a pursuing emergency vehicle.

Unfortunately all of these "alternate universe"-style experiences (those I would not have had were I able to go back in time and stop myself from breaking my phone) have taught me that it's probably better that I not pay very close attention to my proximal environment - not any more than is necessary to be safe, anyway. Bathroom brusher, gross. Reality of cyber warfare, unnerving. Unyielding licensed vehicle operators, frustrating. Each of which is worthy of a separate post on its own.

I'd rather not see the gag-inducing, horror film inspiring downright retardation that thrives all around me. All my Facebook friends, Tweeps, and members of my Google+ circles are on the same level of genius: "homo sapien." Ultimately, however, I am forced to deal with the knuckle-draggers who actually live in my vicinity. Oh, the humanity.

Phoneless - Day 4

What's this? A post before the end of the day? Yes, it seems I am beginning to remember things all of my own brilliance. It's like evolution but backwards.

My package is in Kentucky, for whatever reason, and my "2nd Day Air" shipping label is finally starting to shine. I hope to know soon the fate of my bright friend. There may be light at the end of the tunnel, or it could just be headlights from the UPS truck returning my lifeless phone.

On a lighter note, I got a ridiculous amount of work done today. To be fair I probably accomplished as much as I normally would, but it was not nearly as entertaining. Without the shine of Pandora and Netflix the day dragged on. Each loading screen seemed to take twice as long. Every 100 lines of scripting code seemed to occupy the space of 1000. Still the feeling of accomplishment is as dazzling as ever.

Even though re-reading the "trouble ticket" e-mail from Samsung brought feelings of disdain, there still may be a glimmer of hope. Have you figured out the theme?

Phoneless - Day 3

By the end of the day, I had become tired of thinking about my options. Running through the various scenarios of "what if Samsung says I'm out of luck" or "how much money am I really willing to spend to replace my phone" was wearing on me. In fact, I had difficulty getting to sleep. I hate thinking that a simple act of trying to upgrade my phone's firmware could cost me so much money besides the headache. With the holiday season looming, we're tight already. And I had planned on asking my wife to spend very little on me this year so we could focus on the children. Now this.

The woes of a first world life, right? "How will I ever pass down the memories of early parenthood to my children without 720p video recordings? How will I check for the best prices on items while I'm shopping without a price checking app?" Hey, once my kids are clothed, fed, and sheltered it's time to kick things up a notch, right? Well, I can't do that without a smartphone. Or in my case a superphone.

My thought process may be flawed, but really I'm just trying to return to my version of "normal." It's normal to expect push notifications. It's normal to choose a different wallpaper every-other week. It's normal to have three different launchers so that when one crashes I can keep going on a similar (albeit less feature rich) application. It's normal to flash a new ROM on the weekend, especially when a new OS version is available. It's normal to choose from an array of options, variations and iterations so that I get an experience I have tailored myself. Or at least I think so.

Until I hear from Samsung, I'm afraid I must live abnormally wondering what is to become of all of the tweets, posts, status updates, checkins, youtubes, reddits, and lolcats I am missing in between the periods of time I sit in front of a tethered PC. When will the madness end?

Phoneless - Day 2

Well, I'll start off day 3 by writing day 2's post about how not having my phone makes me forget things - like writing day 2's post about being phoneless.

Yes, I used my phone to remind me of everything. It was my alarm clock and reminder-based todo list. Each day I had at least 3 different alarms to wake me up, wake the kids up from their afternoon nap, and remind me to do things. I used Astrid to remind me to write e-mails, follow up on online orders, tell Erin things that I wanted to tell her but couldn't because I was at work, and a host of other things. I find myself almost entirely brainless without it.

I described this phenomenon to Erin as having lost my "crutch." I started to feel like without my phone to remind me to do things, I might actually lose my head. Erin was quick to remind me that "planners" of any kind are used by professionals all around the world and have been for generations upon generations. Man is a forgetful beast and, if it were not for friends, family, personal aides, or ribbons tied around a finger, things just wouldn't get done. So I guess I don't feel so bad about not having my little friend to remind me to do just about everything except breathe.

Except I do feel bad. I miss my friendly little pocket organizer. And as the days go by I find myself feeling more and more forlorn. I have been watching incessantly the tracking number of my phone containing package sent back to Samsung. So far, it appears to still be in Ogden. Boo. But I have also been searching the internet for cheap replacements. And by "cheap replacements" I mean another Vibrant or Galaxy S 4G in respectable condition.

As the thought of having to trash my old buddy and get a look-alike settles in I am starting to understand the feeling of a young child being told that the goldfish mommy and daddy got them to replace the one they had to flush down the toilet was "just as good." It's not. I took excellent care of my Vibrant. It had a case on it from day 1 (-ish) and an expensive, professionally installed screen protector from the start. I used microfiber cloths to rub away oily fingerprints and pocket lint. I even talked to it! Granted it was to do voice searches, but still, it listened as well as any old friend from childhood.

So the days tick on, and I am starting to see how impossible it would be to return to my old life of a "dumb phone" and a pad of paper. Honestly, I think the paper would only get turned into airplanes anyway. And the phone, being mostly useless since I use less than 100 minutes of voice each month and never text outside of Google Voice, would only get used when I attached it to the charger every 3 days or so. I have never missed my Vibrant's 4-8 hour battery life so much.